Monday, November 3, 2008

More About Why

Maybe I left out some of why I wanted to begin this blog and let my feelings come out on how I view Freemasonry right now. For the record, I’m not active anymore, and with all this hatred, I’m not sure I’ll ever go back to it. Not that I’m against Freemasonry, it’s just that the organized part of it holds nothing for me right now.

I’ve talked to PDDGM’s, and guys from other lodges. While I’ve been assured I’d be welcomed back, I’d be uncomfortable, since everyone would know I came from Franklin Circle/Halcyon originally, even though I had nothing to do with them for a while. I feel there’d always be someone who’d hold it against me that I was raised by them. There are still a lot of bad vibes, mostly because of people not hearing the facts – from either side, although I’ve got to admit, the 22nd guys haven’t leaked anything, versus the constant spewing by their selected spokesperson.

The only reason you’re hearing from me now is that I got tired of being lied to and then told to shut up about what really went on. Can’t ask a question, especially when it hits close to home, I guess. Too bad too, since there were some really good guys there before it went haywire. But since I’m not into beating or following, I guess it’s just as well.

Why not go back to the new and improved Halcyon? Lots of reasons. Mainly two things for me. One is the aggressive vibes, from specific people you hear from everyday online to the building itself. The other is all this new-agey stuff. So, just so everyone out there knows, not everyone is all happy about this new orient stuff. For me, I’m just going to say that my view of what Freemasonry means to me is that I’m still going to learn and grow, but I don’t think subjects like dowsing, NLP, tarot cards, astrology and alchemy have much to do with what the ritual said to me. If I wanted that I could have bought Amway and tinfoiled my house.

I’m also not into group therapy or homework. I want to read and learn at my own pace, books that I want to read, not these college-level books that are either out of print or out of my price range. The group therapy part really creeps me out the most though. How are you supposed to grow individually when you’re just talking what they want to hear?

I think that personal growth can be achieved on your own, using the disciplines outlined in the ritual I was given. Believe me, for someone who didn’t attend private schools and 10 college, the T & Q are more than enough for me to study and learn from for the rest of my life.